The Impossible Knife of Memory by Laurie Halse Anderson

Series: Standalone

Release Date: January 7th, 2014

Rating: 4.5/5 stars

Post-traumatic stress disorder, or more commonly referred to as PTSD, is common amongst veterans returning from war. It’s something that no one really has a cure for since it’s typically case sensitive, depending on the person. PTSD occurs when someone’s gone through a traumatic experience, and their mind cannot cope with the trauma. They relive their traumatic experience until the veil between the traumatic experience, and real-life isn’t there anymore.

PTSD is a nightmare that never ends, something you never wake up from since it can damage all areas in your life. Jobs become insignificant because paranoia is a common outcome. Family members, and close friends and loved ones become the enemy in a skewed mind. The silence becomes your worst enemy since it allows your brain to create noise and fill the silence with your own experience. And since you can’t shut it off… there’s only one way to get your brain to shut up.

This leads to one of the sad outcomes: suicide. Where the victim believes that they can no longer live on with their thoughts and that life is not worth living for.

In Laurie Halse Anderson’s latest novel, The Impossible Knife of Memory, Hayley has been witnessing the effects that PTSD has had on her father, Andy and how his life has continued to spiral out of control.

I think the most fantastic part of the book was the narrative. Hayley was a true testament to a teenager having to grow up too fast because, in her situation, no one else was suitable for the role of Adult. Her voice was so raw, filled with hard and ugly emotions. And the fact that Hayley wasn’t perfect–more like the opposite–is what made the novel so compelling to read. Because although her intentions were good, PTSD is still something that a 17-year-old can’t manage. And there’s also the knowledge that Andy was slowly bringing his daughter down with him.

So, it wasn’t until they both made a move back to her hometown where Hayley was found her old best friend and Finn, the weird, quirky, hot guy who had his own troubles. In fact, another thing that made the story so interesting to follow was that each character had their own problems to navigate through, and they all had their own coping mechanisms.

And while the writing was phenomenal, and the pace and plot development of the story showed nothing to complain about, what I believe made this story were the characters.

The relationship between Hayley and Andy was what a father and daughter relationship should look like, of course without Hayley having to look after her father, and the episodes caused by Andy’s PTSD. But the unconditional love and support were both there. And countless times the reader would witness Hayley making decisions that she believed to be the best for her father. She tried her best, even when it set her own progress of getting better back a few stages.

There was also Hayley’s relationship with her best friend, that demonstrated true friendships never really fade. And how, even though Hayley had so much to deal with at home, she still made time for her friend whose parents were going through a nasty divorce.

And Finn. He was all-around awesome, although his failure to communicate to Hayley occasionally, pissed me off. And also like Hayley, he had his own troubles. And although neither were really comfortable telling each other what their problems were, they still leaned on each other for support, distraction and to create a feeling of belonging to someone and happiness.

The most interesting relationship though was probably between Hayley and her ex-Step-Mom. It was hard because Hayley had already been dealt with so much abandonment, and so much change that trust came hard to her. So the fact that the only reliable person left broke her trust… well it’s understandable why she’d find it hard to forgive. But, what made their relationship really interesting was how Hayley slowly adapted to the change and realized that if she truly wanted her father to get better, she would need help, help that an adult could provide.

Overall, The Impossible Knife of Memory blew me away. Not only was the book fluid and poetic, but the topic itself was interesting, as well as heartbreaking. Another job well done to Laurie Halse Anderson.

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