Vulnerable and Cathartic: Untamed by Glennon Doyle

The Gist: An unabashedly honest memoir, comprised of short essays, Glennon draws on her experiences with consciously uncoupling from her husband, parenting her children in a blended-family, marrying her wife, Abby and reconciling her God with religion as an institution, to unpack the varying ways our current societies cage us. The pacing takes a while to find its rhythm; however, the immersive and thought-provoking prose makes the memoir an exceptional and cathartic read.

Series: Standalone

Release Date: March 10, 2020

Format: Hardcover

Rating: 4.25-stars

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I didn’t know what to expect from Untamed; this is the first book I’ve read by Glennon. I bought Untamed because of its pretty cover and because it was one of the best-selling books at Indigo. I was also going through a phase of wanting to branch out my go-to genres, so I gravitated towards memoirs, especially ones that proffered resilience and personal growth themes. That being said, by the time I got around to reading Untamed (~4 months later), I had pretty much forgotten what the book was about. I vaguely remembered the elevator pitch: a married mother of three leaves her husband for Abby and works to transform her life. So, I did what I always do when starting a new book: I look at reviews (usually in the 2 to the 3-star range since I’ve already bought the book).

After reading quite a few books, I was apprehensive that the memoir would be an exercise in white privilege and feminism and come across as too preachy. And, when I realized–while reading the book—that Glennon believes in God, I was taken aback. She thinks her Knowing is her talking to God? What the hell am I reading? Where is the skepticism? But I kept reading, and I’m so glad I did.

Untamed is brutally honest, beautifully imperfect and un-hesitantly illustrates the challenges and triumphs of humanity.

Knowing

I am agnostic and am highly skeptical of the institutionalism of religion. Therefore, whenever faith is written about without a grain of salt, I often lose trust in the narrator. Until the chapter that bluntly stated: “[Glennon’s] Knowing is her speaking with God,” I sat in disbelief. I quickly researched the book and realized that Glennon was known for being an inspirational speaker within the Christian community. So, the shock and uncomfortable feelings were definitely due to me not doing my research. Up until my comfort zone was challenged, I was really enjoying Untamed. So, I decided to keep going; just because I do not have the same beliefs as Glennon doesn’t mean the book won’t be good. I honestly didn’t even think about how much I’d learn.

Glennon writes about faith in a way that makes belief in God honest and compassionate. While the introduction of Glennon’s Knowing did come off a bit preachy, she soon found her rhythm. Her short essays emphasized connection and self-confidence; for most people she mentioned, those feelings originate from spirituality.

Feeling

Untamed addresses how fighting against our cages elucidates how society’s cages limit our emotions, that we have to live our life feeling love for only certain types of people or that we can only show our anger or cry in the privacy of our bedrooms. The first step to processing why we feel so constrained by societal expectations despite our bodies physically rejecting them? One of the most relatable yet terrifying stories in Untamed was the following:

The [hot yoga] instructor announced, “We’ll start soon. You’re going to get very hot, but you can’t leave this room. No matter how you begin to feel, stay strong. Don’t leave. This is the work.”

The class got started, and a few minutes in, the walls began to close in on Ashley. She felt light-headed and sick. Each breath became harder and harder to come by. Twice her vision became spotty, then briefly went black. She looked at the door and felt desperate to run toward it. She spent 90-minutes terrified, close to hyperventilating, holding back tears. But she did not leave that room.

The moment the instructor ended the class and opened the door, Ashley jumped off her mat and ran into the hallway. She kept her hand over her mouth until she found the bathroom. She threw the door open and vomited all over the sink, the wall, the floor.

While she was on her hands and knees wiping up her own puke with paper towels, she thought: what is wrong with me? Why did I stay and suffer? The door wasn’t even locked

Untamed by Glennon Doyle ~ p. 25

So many women have been tamed to think that strength means silent suffering. We are caged and tamed to not stand by our emotions and what our bodies tell us.

Imagination

I loved how one of the consequences of cages Untamed touches upon is the limitation to our imagination.

The air we breathe has limited all of us. We fight for women to have the equal opportunity to achieve, and then when she does, we call her entitled. We don’t vote for her, champion her, or encourage other girls to be like her because there’s just something–I can’t put my finger on it–about her I don’t like. The air we breathe is the heteropatriarchal norms that say being the country’s leader is a Man’s Job.

The cages of institutions–of patriarchy, racism, misogyny, sexism and bigotry–were introduced hundreds of years ago. Yet, they also limit a significant portion of the people who maintain these cages. We rattle those cages and help lift each other out of them.

In Conclusion

There were two reasons why Untamed wasn’t a 5-star read for me. First, the book’s pacing was slower initially, negatively impacting my momentum. The essay on racism was exceptionally fascinating, but it seemed to go on a tangent about misogyny, which felt like she was trying to centre herself in a conversation that was not about her. However, she eventually pulls together the misogyny-racism comparison; it just took way too long.

A huge part of why I loved Untamed and found it moving was the love story between Glennon and her wife, Abby. They both had to completely upend their worlds for each other, but they fought for their lives, which was beautiful to read.

Overall, I highly recommend Untamed. It’s a unique memoir about society’s constraints on motherhood, womanhood, and sisterhood. Glennon is admirably honest, which creates an altogether profound message, and I want to say it wisely: Own Your Truth. Betray anyone and everyone else before you betray yourself.

Buy Untamed

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